KELCIE.
Sunday, November 30, 2008
It's Here! It's Here! Try & Look Happy Will Ya?
Sunday, November 2, 2008
The Plasticity of Belief: Religious Uncertainty and All It's Perks
Sunday, October 12, 2008
An Introduction to an Introspective Retrospection
Thursday, October 9, 2008
Big Deal You're Gorgeous.
Thursday, October 2, 2008
New Weird America?
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
College. It's everything you'd expect.
Who knew all those stereotypical college flicks with the greasy frats, trekkie fanatics, artsy hippies, and platinum blondes all living in melting pot bliss was completely true. It's probably surprising to me because my high school experience was nothing like that of High School Musical or Clueless. On the contrary - complete polar opposite contrary. An all girl Catholic academy situated in the center of an urban city does not equal HSM. I knew better than to actually think "high school is just like in the movies". But college on the other hand, well it's exactly like it is on the silver screen. Right down to a single red plastic cup of beer being kicked around on the stained cement floor of a basement frat party dressed in sweat, humidty, sexual tension, carelessness, and illegible speech. It's a real beauty to experience, but of course i'd rather be strolling down Soho or getting lost in Central Park. I've always been told i'd love college because i've always been "mature for my age" - an "old soul" if you will. I've been here for about three weeks and I really don't feel the epiphany of freedom and release people have been going on and on about referring to my being "raised in a bubble". Maybe it's because of where I am. I really would prefer going to school in NYC, but of course i'd be drowning in debt. City people are my people. The kids here at Rutgers seem to kneel and praise at the altar of the apparent apparel trinity that is Hollister, American Eagle, and Abercrombie&Fitch. There's no inspiration. Nothing moves me - neither the landscape nor the people. Maybe I'm being too judgemental for only three weeks. Maybe I'll find some individuals I can actually connect with as myself. I have yet to meet someone completely moving in the midst of about fifty thousand students. God.
KELCIE.
Wednesday, September 10, 2008
The End of The World As We Know It!...Well Maybe Not.
Wednesday, August 27, 2008
"The Beginning Is the End Is the Beginning"
Monday, August 18, 2008
Olympic Media Coverage You Had Me At Hello.
Friday, July 25, 2008
I'm here & it's now - tomorrow.
To live in the moment or to live for tomorrow? I really can't get my head around into incorporating them both without a slight case of hyterics. It's always really one or the other for me. It depends on the day, the weather, the way the sun peaked into the blinds (or didn't), the way a song or a photograph shocked my senses. It all really depends. I'm picking my brain here. So many questions; it really is like being in a hall with a thousand soft mumurs. --- just trying to focus on one. How can I live my life the way I want to without interferring with the way I...well the stable path. When you think about living in the now, do you think about the consequences? When you think about your dream life many of the essentials of your life now are pretty much non-existant, but you look past it or you just can't see it through the bedazzled smoke screen. But then there are responsibilities, so on and so forth, and then the "you know what, just fuck it" persona emerges. The inconsistency is rather annoying. Can you honestly alternate as a workaholic and a freewheeler in middle class america? If I work work work now I could possibly kiss the middle class goodbye and say hello to posh town houses, but then i'd be a "freewheelin'" 30 or 40 something year old. I want to be in the now, but I don't want to be stuck in the now tomorrow.
KELCIE
Sunday, July 6, 2008
Postsecret.blogspot.com
I am a self-confessed slave to Postsecret Sunday. A rather willingly slave at that. It's just a whole bundle of humorous, loving, sickening, eye-opening, and epiphany-provoking goodness I just can't keep my hands off of. When my scroll reaches its final inch I always wonder what secret I would send over or if I should do it at all. I'm not saying I have a bag full of secrets I could randomly pull out of, but there are - --some. Having secrets is healthy I suppose. "We are mysterious creatures" - Evening. Without secrets where's the mystery, the "round' characters literary critics are always on the look out for in the human specimen? I like mystery. It's intriguing. But will exposing my secrets, although in anonymity, relinquish that mystery in me? I don't think i'm looking for redemption, forgiveness, or any of the sort specifically because of the secrets I hold. Do those people post their secrets to get it off their chest or simply for shock value? I'd like to think both.
KELCIE
Saturday, June 21, 2008
Disney most prudent, Disney most chaste?
Physical representations of vowed purity have been around since the renaissance, most notably in the form of clunky iron wrought and super padlocked chastity belts. How convenient. Luckily for these Mary Sues & Bobby Jos in the more recent decade charismatic christians of the United States have been heavily advocating the chastity ring. The ring, aimed mainly towards adolescents, urges the individual - pardon me I mean "young adult" - (under religous tenets) to wait until marriage before entering into a sexual relationship. In my uber-Catholic grammar school (fit with your very own stereotypical nuns in habit, kicking it old school huh?) there was a program advocating this "way of life" through interactive storyline videos with their very own laptops. Was it educational? sure. Did I learn not to get knocked up by a skeezy kid straight out of a bad 90's commercial? you bet. Did I care? hell no. It was just another freebie slip out of some class I'd actually have to pay attention in. I highly doubt each and every kid took it the way I did. I guess I figured I was smart enough not to get into any life-altering trouble, but really, honestly! when you have to choose a button between "Follow Jack into the Basement Party" or "Say No" - come on! The icing on top of the cake for this program was the - wait for it - chastity rings they handed out to us at the end. In all honesty I had lost my silver braided finger band a month later, but that naive voice in the back of my head insisted I would fall into that "basement" trap in the near future just because I had lost the ring was seriously nagging. How superstitious we are at times.
If you're wondering what brought on this memory retrival it was good old hearty Disney: keeping it clean for your kids since 1923. Disney's latest summer movie "Camp Rock" has taken over my household, with the Jonas Brothers as the main attraction (I won't deny Joe's appeal and his eventual fate as my future ex-husband. jk). Watching the horridly directed movie with my absorbed sister reminded me of an article in which I read of the Jonas Brothers' out-in-the-open vowed chastity. A very enduring quality for such young and highly sought after boys, but also eerily unsettling. Why? I'm not sure. The pull of societal norms and taboos are surely present in my mindset at the moment. It's good to wait, so says the line "true love waits" which is emblazoned on almost every chastity ring. But how about human nature? How about the basic needs and drives which animals, as well as humans, are made for? - in the simplest thought of course. You know - the four f's: fighting, fleeing, feeding, and ..um..reproducing. But then what's waiting until marriage? In my head sometimes it's a beautiful thing, and sometimes it's just a facade to hide the quality trait of "man-whore" (Cynicism at it's best). But many young Disney stars are proudly shouting and hand swaying to their vows of abstinence. I wonder what's really going on...maybe she is a skank......hmm......You know what! I applaud you you young rich famous slightly beautiful Disney stars! Proudly go down your chaste paths! and as of yet I will humbly follow.
KELCIE
Friday, June 20, 2008
Give Us This Day Our Daily Dose.
After taking my daily dose of the usual sites I visit - you know the perez, boingboing, postsecret, etc. - it dawned on me: What is this fixation on delving into the lives of others? Sometimes I catch myself overly absorbed and immersed in someone else's life that I forget about my own. I forget to live my own life when I can instead make something happen or shoot some vigor into it. I'd hate to say that the lives of the celebrities, the ordinary people who boldly display their deep dark or silly secrets, or the jet-setters of the world have it way better than me. I guess it's all perspective. "Nothing is good or bad, it's thinking that makes it so" (I really need to stop alluding to Hamlet). Admit it, we all love to dip our paws into the grimy and sordid world of gossip columns and the oh so tempting game of telephone. We. Love. it. I love it. It's a common (and now thanks to the internet, viral) guilty pleasure that undoubtedly assists in the turning of societal corruption. But I just can't get enough. Can this addiction be overturned or is it just human nature - to look over the proverbial fence and just wish for the green ass lawn on the other side?
KELCIE
Tuesday, June 17, 2008
I'm getting way too cheesy for my own good. Argh?
With all this talk of "love" it doesn't help to stunt the thought, or rather questioning, of the existance of "the one". Is there even really a "one" for any individual or was it per chance that some happen to find that someone who fits the humdrum of their lot and that he/she is willing to walk that gray line with them (very pessimistc of me, I know)? Is the theory of a soulmate strictly a silver screen conspiracy and a front those happy suburban couples flaunt at socials? As of the moment I feel like we've all been duped! hoodwinked! bamboozled! into believing such a unicorn-esque thought - but still. Still here I am debating it's existance; in conquest to an "I told you so!" or in hopes for that someday? Who knows. If true and tangible I feel like it's going to be one of those imprinting type sequences (yes, I am an avid twilight fan and thats a whole 'nother blog(s) worth. lol). I don't know perhaps the earth will thunder and hades will hence forth open its chasm and engulf us both in flames and nothing will ever be the same or maybe it will be a subtle north wind. I know, I know. Ruminations! Hamlet would be proud.
KELCIE
Thursday, June 12, 2008
Love, don't believe the hype.
For an expected homebody such as myself the school-less/social-less summer is the harbinger of lethargy, poisonous amounts of internet use, and slip-of-the-finger On Demand orders. lovely. But i WOULD like to pat myself on the back for opening the summer of '08 with a substantial amount and rapid rate of reading (John Green's Looking for Alaska & Orwell's 1984 were pretty kick-ass reads). Ok back on track. So with that all said I have also come across poisonous amounts of love. Yes poisonous. Poisonous to the romantic love deprived or killers - of which I am both an upstanding member. Being without a "summer love" in all honestly sorta sucks, but what irks me more is the fact that maybe for the first time in my life I am not utterly in like with someone, ANYONE. Lterally no one. It's an odd feeling when love is replaced with content. Isn't that supposed to happen when i'm old and gray, rocking chair, blahdy blahdy blah? So today I see Hairspray(2008): super hot dude falls for the "outcast", The Holiday: women switch homes for the holidays, find their unsuspecting soulmates and last but not least Gavin Rossdale's uber-heartwarming acoustic rendition of "Suspicious Minds" on Youtube: i swear i will meet my soulmate when i hear them playing this song. How much of a hopeless-romantic-love-killing-jerk am I? So Love? I don't believe the hype, but I listen intently on the buzz.
KELCIE
Friday, April 4, 2008
"We'll drinks pints and wait till this all blows over"
I feel like i'm being punished. Maybe it's the "no more v-day shit i never really cared about, but still wanted" syndrome. I'm beginning to think the doomed prince of denmark was right. "Frailty thy name is women". I always hated and loved that line, but mostly disagreed. Everything is not going the way I planned; well the way I planned it subconciously. Where's the convenient "clear" button at the top left corner when you need it? Thanks alot fate. Sometimes I am madly deeply, and other times completely frozen over - an ice box settled in my chest. Send me a goddamn sign; a fucking flare or something. Back and forth the pretty little desperate words are for me, then in a split second they're not. The way you talk! By god it's so disarming, no hint of anything. Is it just me? Is this a bad case of apathetic projection? Vainity at its best? I am fucking moving to china if I don't figure this out, or keel-over first. Existing with a metaphorical daisy in your hand plucking the tiny little frail appendages off one after the other is by no means the way anyone should exist.
KELCIE
Friday, March 28, 2008
Let's all be cynical, non-chalant, lovesick primetime tv characters shall we?
I'm very comfortable distancing myself from the crowd sometimes, which would ultimately make me seem shy or reclusive when I don't have that burst of enthusiasm. Privacy is the closest thing i have to freedom right now, and I delve into my "me" moments alot. Cynicism is also a personality trait that may hinder my ability to connect on a deeper level with other people. Don't get me wrong i'm a total riot. Cracking jokes and sarcasm like no tomorrow. But i'm very cautious about the people around me. I've been this overly competitive, mindfully independent, uptight artsy hippie(opposites are seriously the only way to describe me), with a "I can do this on my own" kind of attitude, person. I'm not disparaging myself in any way. I love these characteristics. These chracteristics make me who I am, and who I will always be. I've just convinced myself that if the people who do want to inch their way closer to me can't commit to my personality then it's "goodbye, nice knowing you".
I'm a love killer, even if it's a beautiful thing. I can't control myself. It reminds me of a scene from the super fantastic, two thumbs up, sadly cancelled (like many great shows due to moronic television stations. ok I won't rant) from Wonderfalls, where Jaye stomps on Eric's Heart after it pops out of his chest (I sadly could not find the clip on youtube, but nonetheless urge that it is a must see show). It's sad because half of the dudes are pretty decent and would make great friends, but I'd rather shoot them down as early as possible than to play with their emotions, or hope, for a longer period of time. It's a horrid thing to do. I know. Although, some of them are so persistent I have no idea what to do other than be rather polite. I loathe leading people on. I feel sick to my stomach when they get the wrong idea. It's a sick game. It's human nature and i'm conviently picky.
Maybe i'm exaggerating, but for now i'd much appreciate that no one fall into their own theories that I may or may not have them in mind. I already know it's inevitable, but i won't talk further on this matter. It's mind-wrenching i know. Believe me, I've been driving myself to the edge of insanity lol.
KELCIE