"The Beginning Is the End Is the Beginning"

It's heartbreaking, but invigorating at the same time. This move to college I mean. It's a true and tangible representation of moving on or rather starting over. I just had a very short conversation with a friend of mine. It mirrored ninety percent of the conversations I have been having for the past year with others taking the dive as well. "How are you?" "You'll be fine." "If I can, you can." The last thing in this particular conversation was "keep in touch". This simple line meant everything and nothing to me at the same time. I felt like crying. Out of fear, joy, pain, freedom. I answered "always.". I answered in friendship, in comfort, in the unrelenting truth that is time. Time that deteriorates, time that builds. I have no idea if I actually will regularly KIT. Will all my relations that I have made in the past couple years fade and deteriorate as time? Will my friend and I meet regularly each month for lunch or ten years from now when all the comforts of our youthful friendship are but a fond memory pushing through our strained awkwardness? Only now am I feeling this ripping apart. Is it heartbreak? It is heartbreak. Heartbreak to not let go? I'd like to think it's heartbreak and want for what is to come. At least i'll make sure it is. Past is past. I hope that that "always." endures the test of time even if I don't actually "keep in touch." I hope that everyone i've met, everyone i've loved, everyone i've hated - all of them who have made me who I am, who I was, who I will be, will know that I will just "always." and they will just "always." for me. It's time to let go. 

KELCIE.